the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
