If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
