New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
tell me about the eggs
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
