SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
