we're blogging at a bar
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
