wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
