Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
there was a trapeze. enough said
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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