his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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