Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
