Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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