Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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