I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
