Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
