its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
