Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
