she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
How external is "for external use only"?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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