Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
