some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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