EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
