I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
