..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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