..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
