Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
