Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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