chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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