I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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