what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
