Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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