apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
