If i come over, it means nothing
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
