And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
