he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I understand Curling. That high.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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