So drunk its hurt
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
