Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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