Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
