I wannas sexs uuuuu
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
