I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
