Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
