so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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