I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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