i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i believe in u and ur pee
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
