Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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