Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
