I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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