I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
