It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
