We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
