Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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