I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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