ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize